One Big Happy Family

Or so I thought...

BD met 2FB while working at SM, one of the biggest malls in the Philippines.  He was in charge of computers, hardware used for sales such as the cashier's machine, etc.  Tech support if you may.  2FB was working for Watsons, a then cosmetic store (they have expanded over the years). I was not  exactly sure what her position at the store was, but I could guess that she was an expert at well, the cosmetics industry.  She loves to apply and wear makeup which is still one of her focus to this day.  Later on, I learned that she graduated with an Occupational Therapy degree but had not used her college education as a profession.  She followed her heart to the retail industry which is not something to sneeze at.  How many of us have the courage to abandon years of education to follow our true calling?  2FB certainly was courageous.  Fortunately for me, my years of education led me to my passion at work, so I didn't have to struggle with that decision.

2FB came to California and eventually married BD in July of 2010.This was around the same time that my family and I (my mom, husband, daughter and unborn child) went back to California after being stationed in Germany for 4 years.  I was genuinely happy for BD.  I believe that in life, we get the person we truly deserve, and I was happy that he finally found someone who is compatible with him in all ways.  I was happy for my daughter too, at 12 years old, she finally had her mom and her biological father on one State.  She also has a new stepmom, another person who could be there for her.  Despite the not-so-traditional dynamics of the family, I was confident  that we could all make it work out for the sake of this wonderful human being that binds us together -- our daughter, Tata.

Tata spent weekends with BD and 2FB, each time she grew closer to her.  My daughter considered her stepmom as one of her closest friends.  Did I feel threatened that Tata's relationship with 2FB would be tighter than my relationship with my daughter?  Absolutely.  But because I love my daughter, I learned to set those feelings and fears aside for her sake.  It was the mature and motherly thing to do.

It was heartwarming to see that my daughter had all these people who love her!  She was so blessed.  2FB eventually would become pregnant and give birth to a son, about 7 months after I gave birth to my son.  Tata now has two half-brothers, whom she loves so dearly.  As a goodwill and to ease Tata's worries, I requested the State to cancel the child support order so BD would stop paying the $163 monthly child support for our daughter.  He had a newborn and 2FB was not working at the time, so Tata being the perceptive human being that she is, was concerned how her BD would support his growing family.  I also gave BD and 2FB my son's old clothes, some new and unworn, so they wouldn't have to spend so much on baby clothes.

I vowed to show kindness and grace to those people my daughter cared for because I was determined to build a strong family support system for my Tata.

Eventually, 2FB found a job as a store manager of Red Ribbon.  She worked at a location near our house so I would often see her when I pick up a cake to celebrate my son's monthly birthday (11 cakes until he turned one).  We would chat, she thanked me for the baby clothes and for canceling the child support order because that was a big help to them.   Our encounters were civil and lighthearted, I would never suspect that underneath that seemingly harmless facade lies a hatred so deep, it made her heart ugly and putrid.

One of 2FB's (Cher Lapid) text messages to my daughter, where she mentions that she loves Tata.  2FB would often tell my daughter that she loves her.  I mistakenly believed that she meant what she said.

2FB quit her job at Red Ribbon after realizing that daycare costs so much more than the money she made managing the store, she decided to stay home and take care of her baby boy.  Despite the distance, her insecurities did not subside.  Later on, her insecurities snowballed into an uncontrollable animosity which she made apparent to anyone who would listen to her.